Only knowledge will Jimbaux save To this game he stays a slave Rover, wanderer Nomad, vagabond Call him what you will.
Where I Lay My Head Is Not My Home
Hey, there! Nearly a month has passed since my last pictures, and that long of a drought of pictures this time of year is a function of this exile into which I have been forced, but I did manage to get a few shots today!
I returned to New Iberia for another appointment and got some pictures afterward, including what is my first real chase of a train in a long time!
I will feel better once I get that 2023 March 31 blog post done.
I want to get the reading of Confucius Lives Next Door done because I need to write the April 2004 essay and the April 2014 essay.
Anyway, since it has been a while, I wish to recap some notes from the last month. If you’re here only for the pictures and don’t want to read my psychobabble, scroll until you find the pictures.
Wednesday, February 28th
My body took a beating on this day that left me quite sore into the next, as I got reminded that I am not young anymore and got reminded of what the Real World is like. I guess that it was a good experience after all, even though it was definitely a bad experience.
Friday, March 1st
I was just thinking how, with sensory overload and neurodivergence and autism, I really am an oppressed minority as I have come to learn recently, and I am thinking about how, contrary to the perception that people like me talk about how hurt they are, to get sympathy and attention, I have my whole life had to suppress how hurt I am and how much I am suffering due to sound or light or cigarette smoke, to avoid being oppressed, because telling people that the thing harms you comes with huge costs. There are huge costs to disclosing.
Even if you don’t say “I am autistic” or “I have a disorder,” there is a huge, huge, huge, huge cost to being a man and being thought of as so sensitive. I was thinking about trying to uncloset myself, and one thing is that I can’t do that until I am established in business, because, if I try to do that without being established in business, I won’t be able to be established in business, but it’s weird because I go around saying to people, especially outside of the industry, that I am what I am professionally, they are going to assume that I am more powerful, more privileged, and, especially, more able-bodied than I actually am – and, then, they are going to be super harsh when I don’t meet that expectation.
I have to take the risk of all of the drawbacks that can come with being seen as one of this profession, because it is worse than the alternative, it’s worse than the way that I would be treated with the alternative, it’s worse than the way that I would be treated if they realized or thought that that was a cover for something, that I am a flaky, neurodivergent guy. So, it’s this shield that I wear, but the shield is so heavy.
Sunday, March 3rd
I was just thinking now that when I walked around downtown Lafayette Friday before this past, it somewhat reminded me of my walks in New Orleans, mainly in Mid-City but even Broadmoor and Uptown.
Saturday, March 9th
It’s Saturday, the last day of Standard Time, before the change to Daylight Saving Time tomorrow, and I guess that I will be okay this year because of what I did in the fall when I maintained my sleep and awakening schedule in relation to sunrise and sunset.
Last night, I started re-re-reading Confucius Lives Next Door; I read the first chapter of it, and it was good. It was easy reading for me, for some reason. I read it in bed with the lamp on and the curtains closed.
I wish that this were not noteworthy, but I haven’t eaten fast food in, I want to say, a week and a half. Today is Saturday. It was Thursday before this past Thursday when I last ate fast food. So, it’s been eight-and-a-half days now.
It helps when I haven’t really eaten much at all, either! I am feeling all right, other than the back being sore as it often is. I have had some good walks in the last few days, but I also let myself have a break, like, I’ll just walk for 30 minutes, and that will be fine. I have realized now that the fasting is more important, at least to losing weight. So, I think a couple of days in the last week, I walked for about an hour, and that’s the most that I have done one day in the last week or so. I don’t think that I’ve done an hour-and-15-minute walk. Many days, it was just like a half hour. Maybe on two or three of those days, I did a running spurt, and I might do one today.
Oh, I also finally, I forgot what day it was, this week got the March 10 post from last year fully written and published with scheduled postings for it on Facebook tomorrow. So, I got that done. So, I will be doing that for the March 31 post at some point.
Oh, I cooked 15-bean soup yesterday. It was the first time that I cook anything in any crock pot in several weeks. On the day before, I think Thursday, I had to discard some green beans, just tossed them out in the yard. That’s a thing that happens when you are fasting; you don’t eat your own stuff.
I realize now that I had an ableist attitude about portion control. I remember Christie telling me, unprompted, that she did portion control. Like, why is she telling me that? I know why. I’m not stupid. LOL
It struck me as strange, because I just thought that you stop eating when you’re not hungry anymore, and I wasn’t fat back then. That was 15 years ago. My assumption is that people who were overweight and were thinking about portion control were continuing to eat even when they didn’t feel hungry anymore. Think about how condescending that is. No, that is not what is happening. They are eating because their brains are telling them to eat.
Come 2025, I don’t know what I will do with the lack of Sampler essays. I will need something else to write. So, I have plenty to do.
Another thing that I wanted to mention is that working on those pictures of those gondolas at Buhler made me think of Rich Mountain. Something about that line, especially as you go north into DeRidder, I don’t know if it’s a KCS thing or if it’s about the physical geography of the area. There are no mountains there, but it’s the coniferous forests there, whereas, here, I am looking at deciduous trees that look lovely. Oh, that probably is pollen that I am seeing. The trees are sprouting. I am just enjoying being out in the cool morning air under these clouds.
Monday, March 11th
I have been thinking about what I now know as “The Spurs” on the northwestern side of the Kansas City Southern Railway yard in Baton Rouge. A couple of local railroaders who worked for KCS were talking about it as “The Spurs”, a place that would have had some good boxcar traffic back in the day but is now used for storage. Conceptually, it’s a very neat place.
Tuesday, March 12th
Last night, after I took a shower, after I went to Sonic and ate my food from there, I read the third chapter of Confucius Lives Next Door, which is a really easy read, and I am enjoying reading it, but it’s almost like I am reading it too fast to really reflect on it.
Chapter 3 is the part where the son is playing the bass guitar too loud and how that is how the neighbor entered the house and was all apologetic at first for intruding. Think about that. The neighbor came to the house because their bass guitar was too loud, but he took a while to get to the point, which is, apparently, typical Japanese style. That is also, therefore, the chapter in which he talks about that moment with Bill Clinton telling Boris Yeltsin that the Japanese prime minister says “yes” when he means no, how that caused a controversy, how the claim was actually true, and then the story about Nixon misinterpreting a response about a rice trade proposal.
The part that was most significant to me, and it was significant when I read this 10 years ago, was the part where the author, T. R. Reid, would often just introduce himself to Japanese people just as himself, without identifying himself as part of any group, and how the Japanese view this as selfish, and I was kind of at the end of a libertarian phase when I read that 10 years ago, and I don’t remember what I thought of it when I read it 20 years ago, but, also, it was before I figured out that I am autistic.
So, now, I am thinking about it again; I need to reinterpret this. Now, I think what I understand from it is that I can say that that argument has merit, that you should identify as part of a group, but, for autistic people, doing that can be dangerous. The groups with which you would identify will be hostile to you.
So, I don’t know, and, in my situation right now, I really can’t do it.
So, T. R. Reid said that he was part of that neighborhood by a twist of fate, what the Tokyo housing market was like at the time of his move there, and the neighbor said that that doesn’t matter, that, whatever brought them there, they are part of the neighborhood now.
It’s about how the obligations to the group supersede the obligations to the individual.
It’s messed up. The group is very limiting, especially for an autistic person. Group identity is fraught. It’s perilous. I can’t do that.
I am reading this stuff again, and, you know, with my new knowledge that I have gained since I last read this book, I do see that it is western culture that is the aberration.
So, it is true that… it’s an autistic conundrum, because it is true that all of us need community, but, until there is greater autism awareness and acceptance, and awareness without acceptance is pretty useless if not actually worse than the absence of both, then we’re not going to actually have community.
Yeah, so, three things have happened since I last read this book.
So, three things have happened since 10 years ago when I last read this book: the Trump Phenomenon, learning that I am autistic, and learning about money and credit.
I realized yesterday that there is an ADD component of why this method of losing weight has worked where others have not. It’s just the utter straightforwardness of it. It’s just “don’t eat”. It doesn’t require executive function. It does, however, screw up my executive function for other purposes, but it doesn’t require executive function to do the fasting itself, whereas other weight-loss methods do have such executive-function burdens.
I don’t have to keep track of anything other than time, which is easy. I just have to know what time I awoke, add so many hours to that, and just do it. Yeah, I think that this is it. It’s related to my issue with cleaning, how I realized that I don’t have a cleaning problem, that I have a problem with organizing cleaning.
Wednesday, March 13th
So, now, I somewhat don’t mind stopping on my walks as much anymore, to take a picture or to pet a cat or whatever, because I realize that walking is less critical to my weight-loss efforts than fasting is, because I would walk for an hour solid in the morning, maybe more, and I wasn’t losing weight, but, now, I am walking less and eating less and losing weight.
I might have zero photo backlog pretty soon, and, hooray, I get to start working on 2005 digital shots, which is a scary thought, very scary, because that would imply a commitment to keep that going until basically 2012, as I mentioned in a previous recording. I don’t know if I want to do that.
I like it this morning. It’s kind of dark. I like it that way. I really do.
There was a good thread on Twitter yesterday, it’s hard to describe, about protecting people in your life from COVID and relationships, and it’s another one where I saw the parallels to neurodiversity and to standing up for the neurodivergent people in your life.
https://twitter.com/baddestmamajama/status/1767368298646421603
All that is said in that great thread is true of sensory issues and communication methods, too.
Saturday, March 16th
Owners of very irritating dogs are themselves very irritating people. There is no moral difference from if the human owners made the irritating noise themselves, but our legal system allows people to irritate others by using dogs.
I saw a poor dog trying to get inside of its house, making irritating noise trying to get its owners’ attention. I wonder if the owners knew that the dog was trying to get inside and were just leaving it outside, which, if they are, is a thing that you might be tempted to do if you own a dog, which then just exports the problem to your neighbors.
I hate jerk neighbors who disrupt the peace and tranquility of the neighborhood with their noise, and dog noise is human noise; the dogs are not wild animals that happen to inhabit the same neighborhood. More than I hate such neighbors, though, are their enablers.
Monday, March 18th
I awoke late on this day, at almost 07:00. I didn’t know what’s going on, was feeling bad. I have strep throat. I went to the health clinic and found out.
I went there to get tested for COVID. I was worried that I might have COVID. The Mid-City Marine suggested that I get checked out for COVID. So, I did. I went there and put a mask on for the first time in a very long time.
So, I have strep throat.
Today: Tuesday, March 19th
So, I had to go to New Iberia today to do a healthcare appointment, and, then, I have to return for a follow-up appointment on Friday; so, that’s going to be interesting, as was today.
I heard “Anywhere I Roam” by Metallica on the radio. It made me feel old.
The day started out great, and I felt great – and confident – until about 16:00 or so, after which I rapidly deteriorated.
I had imagined that I would try to do some walking in New Iberia today and also going to go to the gym in New Iberia if for no reason other just so that the key has a record of me going there, but possibly to work out, too.
I had my camera gear with me and imagined that I would also foam, and, possibly, even eat at Raising Cane’s.
Oh, today is the first day of spring, too.
Anyway, I got to the place in time.
It was a good appointment.
I then went to Subway by the track and got an All-American Club wrap, the old Subway melt, on a wrap. I then drove to the track, thinking that I’d eat the food by the track, which I did, but not quite where I had imagined doing so.
As I was reconnoitering the tracks, intending to go to a shaded spot by the track that is a good place to sit and eat or read, I discovered something quite unfortunate.
Damn, one of the best viewing areas – and, thus, photography areas – of the track in the New Iberia area is now closed to automobile traffic!
So, I ate my food in the parking lot of that church thing along South Landry Drive in view of the Louisiana & Delta Railroad interchange yard.
There, I got a picture!
Only after taking that picture as I was driving away did I realize that the locomotive in the picture on the right side is on the mainline, the head end of a really long Louisiana & Delta Railroad train from Lafayette that includes plenty of BNSF interchange traffic coming to New Iberia, including a bunch of BNSF-family hopper cars that appear to be empty, probably for sugar loading. So, that’s weird.
It was at about this time, some time after 16:00, that I started feeling quite bad.
I saw a great view across the sugarcane field from Highway 182 over by that Emeralds Billiards place that I had remembered from a previous visit here but about which I had forgotten until I saw it again today. It was backlit when I passed it, but, on a cloudy day, it would be a nice view.
I went by the depot and photographed the parked locomotives there.
Although I still thought that I might go to the gym just to use the bathroom and kind of log in, I decided to not work out today, because, just as I was sitting at South Landry Drive, I started to feel groggy again, just like I did yesterday morning. I wanted to return to the house and lie down.
Yeah, I had completely forgotten that I am sick. I didn’t completely forget, because I remembered to take my antibiotic medication. I took it this morning, and I took it right before I left to come to New Iberia. So, I have been doing the thrice-daily thing. I have taken four pills since I got the prescription. I will take it again tonight before I got to bed.
Yeah, I accomplished plenty today for someone who is sick, although reading is something that I can do if I am sick, but I planted plants and walked for 40 minutes. I should go and lie down, though. Yeah, I had wanted to go and walk around in downtown New Iberia, but, by this point, I don’t feel like doing that.
Man, railroadwise, New Iberia has become freakin’ boring.
I saw an auto rack at this point, and I soon realized that it was in a train going east, but I didn’t realize at first what train it was.
Wow! At around 16:20, just at that point where Highway 182 gets back to being right next to the track, I caught up with the Union Pacific Railroad local train as it was leaving town. I thought at first that it was an L&D job, because it didn’t dawn on me that there would be a UP local leaving the yard at this time, but it was Tuesday afternoon!
UP 816 was the locomotive, and there was a fairly clean auto rack as the first car. I don’t know how that happened. Quickly, I settled on where I wanted to photograph it, too.
Wow, I’m actually going to chase a train now instead of going to the gym; well, I wasn’t going to the gym anyway, but I can do this.
That’s crazy. This is my favorite train now. I might as well go see it, and, with this, I’ll be able to put some time between now and my Raising Cane’s meal. Yeah.
Some time around 16:40, I got to my imagined shot location with no time to spare.
I didn’t have time to set the exposure. Something was wrong with the camera at first. It wouldn’t go on.
This is Moresi Road.
The train had 16 cars, 10 of which are carbon-black cars. It had an auto rack, four other hopper cars, and a tank car.
The shot isn’t exposed well, but I got it. I am wondering what the auto rack is doing in this train.
I am glad that I got that shot. I was vaguely tempted by the idea of chasing this thing further, but that would have been difficult, and I was not feeling well.
I also thought that maybe the reason that I started feeling nauseated is that, when I was in the healthcare place waiting for a while, I got kind of thirsty and thought that I wanted to go out and get some of my water. I wonder if me not hydrating caused the nausea to return. It could be.
So, all right, that was certainly fun and entertaining. That’s actually the first chase of a train that I do in the year 2024, because nothing that I photographed on that trip to Texas was a chase.
So, that was a cool train. If I had more energy and cared more and had a scanner, I may have chased it, but such is not the case. So, anyway.
I went and searched for that dirt road just west of the Patout spur where I photographed Peartree’s train on his second-to-last day railroading.
That road to the railroad mainline by Patout, Burleigh Road, is closed to through traffic but doesn’t have a barrier at the southern end, meaning that you can access it and the track only from the southern end. If someone asks, I’ll just say that I am not through traffic; so, I am not going through, I am just going to the track and, usually, to the southwest side of it.
Also, a little bit west of that is Highway 85, and, there, I found the good broadside shot that appears to be where I got that heat-distorted broadside shot 11 months ago.
I was yawning.
I ate at Raising Cane’s in New Iberia. The food was good, but the rest of the experience was bad.
I don’t think that I should ever eat at Raising Cane’s again. The music was too loud. The food was too expensive. I need to let that go. I had similar experiences with Raising Cane’s recently. I have to let it go. I am not so young anymore. I am neurodivergent.
I complained about the noise in the bathroom, and the manager looked into it and said that it must have been that that song was loud. I then went in the bathroom again after that, and it wasn’t quite as bad; so, I don’t know if he didn’t do anything or what, but it was still bad. In the lobby, the bass was playing loud, and it was painful. I am too old for Raising Cane’s. I think that the last time I went to Raising Cane’s was in Lake Charles in December that day I went to work there on a ride-along, and I said to the coworker then that I am too old for this. I shouldn’t go there. I need to let that go.
So, where should I have eaten today other than Raising Cane’s? Really, at the house, but I didn’t have food prepared. So, what, then? I don’t know. Food is an issue.
So, yeah, I didn’t feel well. So, I didn’t go to the gym or to Walmart.
I chased a train today, and it was such an alien thing for me to be doing. Ten years ago today, I caught the previous manifestation of this train, back when it was an out-and-back train that returned to Avondale on the same day that it left, when it was returning to Avondale at Live Oak.
That’s the first time that I chase a train, other than Port Rail or Acadiana Railway, in a really long time. I don’t even know when, actually. It’s hard to chase a train without a scanner. I chased a couple of trains on March 31, almost a year ago, and then chased a westbound train to Opelousas on May 15 and then, three days later, chased a BNSF Railway train with a Canadian Pacific Railway locomotive leading from Melodia to almost Jeanerette. I chased a Port Rail train on October 25, I chased a Louisiana & Delta Railroad train on the Breaux Bridge branch five days later, and I chased a nice-looking Port Rail train on December 20, but these were branchline chases, which don’t feel like mainline chases, which I guess is why they don’t stick out in my mind as much and, as such, why what I did today felt so novel and so refreshing.
I miss having a scanner, but I also miss the world back then. That’s why I am wondering if I should get a scanner, because the railroads aren’t the same anymore, and neither am I.
As I was driving back to the house, I just wanted to lie down, man; I was so tired.
Then, I had to stop on the way to the house for a weird reason.
It happened.
Jbx
